It's 12 months here in Canada, as well... A date of separation would have to be established, I think that's why many people get legally separated, first.
Asking her if there's someone else will most likely get you one answer... "NO!"... it's up to you whether you believe the answer... with WAS... it's generally agreed to believe none of what you hear and only 50% of what you see... it's not a constant, of course... and repeatedly asking her is unlikely to get a different answer from her, but is VERY LIKELY to PISS HER OFF!
it's just something to keep in mind. It does not change the fact that we need to DB and GAL.
So you got a "too little, too late" comment from her. It's just a WAS "reason". They have a lot of reasons and justifications... it ain't over, 'til it's over... At least she claims she "admires" you...
There's a thing we talk about here a lot... it's called "detach". It means (and it's very hard for most people to do) that we become less emotionally connected to our WASs. It allows us to get of the proverbial "roller coaster" of emotions associated with the process. Then we can be pro-active, rather than re-active. Of course, our WASs generally appear much further along in detaching than we are. It's simply because they've been detaching themselves for a lot longer than we have. Often, before they even "drop the bomb"...
Those are great 180s, if they truly are 180s. What I mean is, a 180 has to be something that is not "more of the same". And 180s are not always long term. They're something we do for a long enough period of time to be able to get (relative) measurable results. ie. Did they help, hurt, or have no effect...
Once that is known, we adjust accordingly, continuing to do what works and stop what is having negative effect or no effect.
Since her stuff is still in the house, and if you can detach enough, there may be plenty of opportunity to show her the results of your GAL when she comes to pick stuff up.
One more thing for the night. Time for me to get some shut eye.
Something else that is mentioned here is, it is our ACTIONS not our WORDS that will our WASs will notice and believe. The ACTIONS must be true and consistent.
That's why what we DO to become a better us is something we do for US, to keep for life... no matter whether we save our M or end up D...
