The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Does it seem negative, after all of the effort and love, to feel like I'm free of the monster she became?
I was served with the divorce papers today. I have the sep agreement.
After everything else, I feel...free. Free of the monster she became. Would I want the old her back? Hmm... I don't think so. I prefer to have the memories I think. They were good memories up to the end.
Would I do it all again? Absolutely. Would I do it again with her? Nope. No thanks. There is no going back and I really don't want to. I am just dealing the feelings of guilt that I'm happy she's gone. They aren't strong feelings, just a little pang because I know it wasn't something I did or did not do. I can look with total honesty and know it was nothing to do with me (mostly - nobody's perfect.) I know I did everything I could have done and held nothing back. Very peaceful to know that.

Still, just a little numb at the moment. Some feelings coming back, but not very strong. To tell the truth I'm more interested in what tomorrow brings and some other things I have in my life that need attention.

Peace,

AJ