It sux to be here, Cam. Thing is, it's a great place to be when going through this stuff.
First, have you picked up and read Michelle's DR book? If not, it's the best resource to have at hand as you work through this.
Second, it ain't over 'til YOU say it's over. That does not mean that you will not get D or that you should stalk her until she comes back to you.
What that means is, DBing is life long. You might be able to save your M or you might get D. And even if you're D, you may still consider getting back with your X and there's data to suggest that DOES happen.
But eventually, after all the work you do ON YOURSELF, you will be a better man for it and you may eventually find yourself OK with being D and moving on to a new life and possibly a new R.
Hope that helps to start.
Again, do you have the DR book and what are you doing to GAL and what might some 180s be for you?
