Hey, even as a LBS, I still can feel your pain. That said, it is NEVER ok to text and socialize with people outside of your marriage in a way that you don't both agree is ok. She probably had a line way earlier than the line you feel your crossed for yourself.
One thing you said that may help your case - she said she doesn't want to be around you when you are drinking. Are you willing to quit cold turkey to try to save your marriage? It's one way to show you are very serious about changing and start to earn her trust back. At the very least, you need to stop drunk texting - that wouldn't be enough for me, though. It's not like you're giving up your phone, so you need to give up the situation that leads to it.
Also, if any contacts are persistent and continue to text you, block them through the phone company. Don't get sucked back in.
Write a letter to your wife, responding to what she said and what it meant to you to finally hear that you are important. I wouldn't give it to her, I would keep revising it as things move along over the next few weeks and you take actions to back up saving your marriage. At some point she may be willing to hear you and it would be a very effective way to communicate while letting her control the situation.
A true apology doesn't include excuses and it does include asking what they need from you to make it right. She may say a divorce at first or she may calm down quickly. Regardless, you need to remember this feeling and use it as motivation to make real changes for yourself and for her. Good luck.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
