I can take that punch!

[Redo]

JS, I agree fully with you. Yup, boundaries are rules that i need to set for myself so that i can keep my N.U.T.s intact [no pun ]

Did she ever tell you this was a boundary? Did she ever say be happy with what you have or I will D you? Boundaries must be clearly stated and understood, else they are not boundaries. JMO if they were not clearly set then they were justifications.

Sadly yes, not verbatim. but she did say that i was affecting the family. But at that point in my life i honestly did not know who i was.

The sad truth to all this is : If my W had not filed for D in Jan. Had i not sought help, found the DB book, found this forum, read all the other books on relationships, started this whole process of finding myself: I would have been the same old person who did not know who he was when it came to relationships. In way my W did me a favor. I just wish the price i had to pay was not this bad.