Our MC helped me gain an understanding of my W and some of her actions. For example, if we were watching a movie, tv, etc. I'd want to engage my wife and have her engage me. That was how I wanted to feel important.
For my W, she showed me I was important but being around me and being comfortable to just sit there and not talk. She was trying to show me I was important, but my message and hers were not the same.
once she understood mine and I understood hers - I felt a lot better.
We also talked bout things we could do to let me know she thought i was important - obviously sex was one, another was carving out time for us two. Say 15-20 min before bed. another having like a date night -although we didn't have to go out. Spending a significant amount of time - no kids, no work. We'd usually watch a movie and/or talk.
Another big one of mine was her having lunch with me during the work week.
you should think of some ideas on how she can show you are important. -She's not going to do all of them, nor should she.
I think for you making the appt is huge for you.
I think many people think of R talks as emotional, wrenching, possible painful. but R talks can be calm, straight forward even light hearted. If it gets too intense, it's okay to take a break.
I saw R talks as another way my W showed me I was important. (I think that's why I went overboard with them.)
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
