You and I are running in parallel time lines, so I am going to remind you that you asked me once out I could detach so well. I told you NC was the best thing for me mentally and it really helped. You have to look at it this way, what is the most healthy route for you to go now for YOURSELF. Determine what is right for you to take care of you and your kids. I do still have my down times, and it is frustrating. But you know what? This was not my choice, but I choose everyday how I live, and what is right for my physical and mental well being.
I do wallow in my own pity parties at times, this week has been hard as D16 has been gone to band camp and coming home to an empty house was so depressing and I have cried on my way home everyday so far. Last night I realized, because this is my future when she goes off to college. It was so depressing, then today I decided that it was okay, I do like who I am, I can stand my own company. I don't have a lot of friends in this area as we moved here 6 years ago, and though H is from here, I am not, which leaves me to my own defenses. The few friends I do have, come to my rescue when they can, but mostly I try to get used to being me and what I like to do in my alone times. It's funny, because before BD I would so relish my alone time because it was so infrequent. Now I just try to fill it with things to do.
I guess what I am saying is, keep working on detaching, keep allowing yourself the feelings, but just don't stay there, release them as soon as you can. Today is a new day, what can you do for Tad today?
I am so happy your interview went well. I am still looking for a full time job. Thankfully my unemployment benefits were extended this week.
Have a great day!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
