XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined....

[XYZ]

Are you willing to chuck it all if she doesn't.

I always love that expression, because Chuck is my real name. lol. Hope I don't get banned for that.

I get what you're saying. When my W suggested counseling, I offered 2 or 3 times to make the appointment. Each time, she said she'd do it because her schedule is so busy. It's more that that.

I'm also pissed about another item, but they have the same root cause. Three days ago, she sent me a great mid-day check in TM. I mentioned it here. I also told her how much I liked getting that -- she and I even had a nice conversation about "small" things. I sent her one two days ago. Nothing yesterday. I told her how important they were to me and she didn't follow up. Why? She's too busy.

Here's what it really is: I need to feel like I'm important to her. In fact, I want to be the MOST important thing to her. More important than her work. And I don't. The most excited she's been lately was when she told me how much money she made this month -- a sign of success at work (BTW, she also told me she would deposit it in the bank and guess what....she hasn't.)

Before she started in private practice a few years ago, she'd email me throughout the day. She'd call me on the way home from work. We talk a couple times a day. Then she started her own practice. She was too busy to email me during the day. She'd call patients on the way to and from work. I seldom heard from her any more. They (patients) were more important.

She hasn't made the appointment because she's too busy at work. She didn't text me because she's too busy at work. We go to dinner and she's on her BlackBerry most of the time with...you guessed it, work.

She told me a couple of weeks ago that she needed to see changes in me and I needed to see them in her. I do need that, and I don't see them. Not when it competes with her work, anyway. I'm important to her only when there's nothing more important. And that's not good enough for me.

I love my W. I want to be with her, but I don't know if I can and be second to work. And I see no inclination on her part to change that.