Should I contact her?

[MHL]

Lonely,

I am going to give you my opinion here and it is only MY OPINION.

I do not think that text and email work for heartfelt, emotional, and important conversation.

I advocate and use email and text to distance myself my XW....

Why do I do this????

It is impersonal, no emotion, it is factual, it is dry, and most importantly I do not get drawn into her BS.

The other thing about text and email is that so much can be misread into what is written.

I am sitting front row to a reconciliation that happened straight from these boards, they are your age and really embrace the technology thing which I do too.....

however

I can tell you that this person from these boards has gotten himself all worked up time and time again b/c of something his W wrote in a text that he took out of context or thought that the text had some other meaning. I continually beat him over the head on this form of communication......(I hope you are reading this Kemper )

Text and email may work for setting up a meeting.....and I would suggest coffee or lunch......no dinner, no walking in the park and keep a time limit on it, remember you are a busy MAN. YOU are out conquering the world for the woman that will be your partner in life. YOU are going to PROVIDE for YOURSELF FIRST so that you may be able to PROVIDE for her next.

Make sense??? Got the mindset.

Do not go into this with a mindset to fix what is wrong....

Just keep it casual and keep it focused on her, what she is doing, what is going on with her. You are upbeat and happy, ALWAYS.

Just imagine that you have a very important meeting with Warren Buffet and he is going to give you a big fat check for all the hard work you have been doing and you only have a little while to spend with her.

YOU are happy about getting the check, you are happy about your job, you are happy about your new friends, you are happy about your new clothes, you are happy about running a marathon, you are happy about your new hobby, you are just soooo F@CKING HAPPY!!!!!

Notice you are already happy about all that other stuff......she is just window dressing......if she wants some of that happiness then it would suit you fine to have her join you.......if she doesn't there is a line of women just waiting for the chance to be with you.

Now that is a fantasy.......but it definitely is the mindset you have to have.........and you do need to work towards whatever goals you have set for YOURSELF. I did and when I started accomplishing those goals......I WAS HAPPY!!!!


If I were you I would shoot her a text or email.

Hey W, How is it going? I discovered a great little coffee shop at _________ . It is great and I thought that you might like it. Would you like to meet at this time on this date for a cup of coffee.

Remember, you are a busy man......you can not really accomodate her schedule.....you set the date, you set the time and stick to it. If she can't make it so be it, let it go and be prepared that you will not be having coffee or otherwise meeting her for at least another 4 weeks.

Go into this with the mindset that it will not happen and what it will be like on the backside.

In otherwords, she is going to decline and I will not have contact with her for at least 4 weeks afterwards.

This is called not having EXPECTATIONS.

This stuff will take TIME.

If she says yes but not at that time then say how about next week at the same time? Remember you are busy, you have a LIFE and you have things to do, places to go and people to see.

If you cave in and meet her schedule you are telling her that you are sitting around doing nothing waiting for her to change her mind about you.........BTW, that is exactly what you have been doing.........sound a little pathetic.......change it!!

Get your a$$ up and do something.......another wise poster here has a saying......"Don't Stand Still" (nickel to fisherman)

Hope this helps.

Happy Little Friday!!!

Cheers