We have alot in common. My H moved out 3+ years ago and hasn't filed. I understand your statement about limbo. What would you be doing differently if you were D'd? I can tell you I don't feel like I'm in limbo anymore because of my answers to that question.
Dealing with all the emotional stuff that accompanies raising kids is tough. I know my d's and I have had a rough few years (aside from H leaving). I will tell you too that I get all the memories (good and bad) from this, he doesn't.
The convos I've had with my D's regarding some of the things in our lives has been remarkable. The Nietzsche quote about "That which does not kill you..." had a intersing outcome. It was decided that what works for us is more That which does not kill you, changes you. In order to make sure those changes are not negative, you have to be aware of yourself. I have tools that I use for this, as I'm sure we all do.
As far as direction or a plan, are you a goal/list maker? Make a map for your life. If you choose to let someone on the tour bus, that's up to you.
