Can I save my marriage? (long; please be patient)

[MadeToSucceed]

[quote]Let me ask you this, if you were having an active A, and your W knew. How would you perceive your actions if the roles were reversed?

What would you consider to be strong and confident?

True love can be shown in many different ways. Trying to change her mind through 'antics' does not show true love. It shows insecurity, lack of acceptance, lack of confidence, etc, etc.

I try to ask myself that and I guess it is so difficult for me because despite my own faults I just truly can not picture myself putting her through what she is putting me through. That being said, for the sake of role playing, I'd probably be wondering what was my W thinking and surely she had to be a fool...but I think I would only be thinking that way because I was "that far gone" and in a pretty bad place myself.

And I suppose the last portion is what I'm starting to get...at least I think. I'm showing her that I'll take her back no matter what. That I'm here. That I NEED her. While OM is probably able to show a persona that is much less "needy." As a result, she doesn't respect me and thinks I'm a begger and who wants to be with someone that is like that.

So I get what you're saying Country. I have to get back to being a confident person in myself. Being true to myself...somewhat independent of her. My sitch, despite how long it may progress, is only temporary. The pain, the depression, the sadness...that stuff doesn't define me so I can't operate like it does.