I don't know that marking time is the right description for where I've been. I have been on a journey. I have looked deep inside of myself, I have a very strong understanding of my role in all of this, and I think that is why I still feel a lot of guilt and regret about where we are now. Unfortunately I missed the opportunity to make the changes I needed to make before my H left. Now that he's gone, the changes I've made are for me and my kids. And, I know that's a good thing - no regrets for the time I've spent here.
There have been no major changes in me, but to quote TAMF in a recent thread: "I wouldn't say I am a different person now - just certain things about me have either been enhanced or changed." I am a different person than I was. I'm not perfect - never was, never will be. I am different becuase of what I've gone through, and what I've learned here.
I know there is more out there for me, and you are right - I am beginning to feel that now, but I have no direction or plan. I'm not marking time, but in some ways I am still in limbo....not married - but yet not divorced. I'm not trying to use that as an excuse, that's just where I am.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
