My heart is breaking for you. I am at the beginning of my journey with MLC (BD 5/15/11), H is still at home, but wanting to leave. I know the pain you feel, as do we all. But your posts sound like maybe you're fighting a little bit of depression. Have you contacted a therapist or doctor? I know I will never get over the loss of my H, but am hopeful I can recover and be the old me, the one who told God a week before I met my H that I would be okay if I were alone the rest of my life (and meant it). I believe God gives us our trials and tribulations for a reason, and I think he means for it to make you stronger and better for the future, but he doesn't mean for you to suffer needlessly. Please make sure you see a doctor, just to rule out anything medical that might be holding you back from finding your happy.
