Haven't posted in a while.. things have been getting more back to normal around here which confuses me even more. H has been sticking around after the kids go to bed to watch tv with me for a while and chit chat.. He hasn't stayed super late like he used to but its just so weird that he's okay with hanging out again. He's also been pretty obvious about his attraction to me - joking around that he wants to wait until I get changed for bed before he leaves etc. He's also been sick as a dog and I offered to give him a massage a couple of times - fully expecting him to turn me down, but he accepted immediately. Now me offering to give him a massage is a total 180 for me, b/c I was the selfish one who was always bribing him to massage me Anyways, the massages were nice - very intimate without actually being intimate, and I stopped them from going any further. At this point, I'm sure he's just horny - especially if what he says is true about there not being any other women in his life. He's been around to see the little ones quite a bit lately.. helped out at my littlest one's bday over the weekend. Went out of his way to thank me for all the hard work I did for his party etc. He does genuinely seem happier now that he's out of his mothers house and into his own house. I HATE hearing about his new place - like it makes me want to throw up. I think he knows that - and now I'm noticing he's been making little comments to almost show me that its no so great there. Like he commented on how much it [censored] that he doesn't have a tv in his bedroom. Or tonight he was taking out the garbage and recycling for me before he left, and he joked that his recycling bin only had two empty cans in it (not that that comment was either good or bad, just interesting). I think he's just being nice, and trying to make this all a little easier on me. I appreciate that very much, I honestly do, but it definitely doesn't make things easier (but I would never say that to him!). He is such a nice guy, sometimes I wish he was a big jerk - at least I could be angry. I still haven't really gotten angry at this whole thing. I've given up hope, but its hard to hate someone who just wants to find happiness - even if that happiness isn't with me.
Anyways, the massages were nice - very intimate without actually being intimate, and I stopped them from going any further. At this point, I'm sure he's just horny - especially if what he says is true about there not being any other women in his life. 