XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined....

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I saw it as protecting myself. However; there comes a time when protecting yourself hurts reconcilliation. To love someone means you open yourself to them; without armor.

4 weeks is a short time X. 4 weeks ago you were not even getting the wrods. When forward progress is slow or seems stopped, it is in your goals best interest (notice I didn't say your best interest, because the goal is what you're aiming for, and our best interests are usually short term things and selfish) to look backward to mark progress rather than forward and become upset.

"This is hard"

You're in the middle of what you need and what your wife needs. (Needs actually = wants) In between capability of meeting those wants and pacing. Amoung...a dozen or 100 other things.

What you (people) have a difficult time remembering is...she is also in the middle. We aren't the only character in this story.

You have written and given some amazing insight about pacing this, time to live up to it.

If this had happened fast, like whirlwind fast? I'd be worried and I think you would be too. Your trust needs to be rebuilt as did mine and as does hers, and the slow pace is the best for this. I am glad for the slow building between my wife and I, I know the structure is solid and the groundwork is there. I built it with her.

Remember the dupe moment? Cautionary tales serve as examples to others...and ourself. Give it a few more days, and then bring it up if needed. It will be an R talk.

In peicing (I believe) the R talks are needed. But go in with logic, knowing what you want to say and how to say it. Be in control of the converstion and be ready to end it. Know how to talk so she isn't defensive but in such a way that your concerns are addressed. Acknowledge the positives she has been doing, acknowledge the effort on her part...it is there.

"This is hard"

Don't trust easy.