mgm, man, I feel for you, I really do.

You need to back WAY off.

You're head is spinning, and it will continue to for as long as you try to control the situation.

What is your true motivation behind sending her all the scriptures?

Do you think it will "awaken" her?

I know how hard it is, and I know it will take many times before it sinks in. Just keep getting bits at a time.

For now, until you pull yourself out of the funk, until you start being the man you want to be, it will be extremely painful.

Do whatever you can to treat yourself well right now. Get yourself healthy.

BITS

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.