Thanks you guys. I actually know not to snoop, but then I get false hope, then he does something out of whack, then I get upset. He can't leave until I get a job, which, believe me, I am working on. I also have contacted an attorney, so he can't mess with us financially. I worry that in his current state, he will justify not giving me the money for the house we already agreed to and will spend it on traveling with his new lady love. So I am taking necessary steps to live our lives apart.
You know, I see a lot of posts in these threads about people talking to their spouses about the R, not sure how that is coming up, because he and I do not talk about our R at all. Nada. I know the advice is not to bring it up, so I do not, and on the Hero's Spouse website, it is actually helpful in getting my head around it all, but even in that community, people seem to still have more couple talk then we do. Am I doing something wrong? I know he's going to leave, but it's like we just stopped on May 15 (BD) and started to live separate lives. I just do not get it.
BTW, I would still forgive him, should he ever make it out of the tunnel, but I feel like he's moved on and there is no hope even in a couple of years. Has anyone else ever had that happen? Did it work out?
