We have had conversations on the paradoxes that exsist or come about on our journeys.
For me, I know I am in a better place as an individual, that is a fact.
I also know that for me, it required that my marriage had to fail in order for ME to grow as an individual.
The paradox is that I came here to save my marriage and as you say "we have to save ourselves first", well for me, my marriage needed to fail so that I could "let go" completely so that I may grow. I know this may not be the case with some.
If I could go back in time and do things differently I certaninly would......hindsight is 20/20. I now know what I needed to do differently but if I had done those things then I would have never have done the internal work and would have just delayed the failure of my marriage. Makes me wonder if knowing what I know today would I sacrifice my marriage to get where I am at today.
SOOOO,
I came here to save my marriage and found that it "needed" to fail in order for me to move forward. I did not realize that I needed it to fail until after it failed though. Still trying to wrap my head around that one.
I am not "Happy" that my marriage failed however you could say that the "failure of my marriage" was the process that I went through that ultimately led me to find my "happiness".
Very Paradoxical for sure.
Cheeers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
