Took SS21 to the dr. Monday for some routine tests. His father met us there just to talk to the dr. about some issues. After the appt. we started to talk in the parking lot. Some of you may know that I was the OM in his marriage to my now W. Not proud at all of that, but it is what it is.
He (I'll refer to him as XH for clarity) is aware of our sitch, and was very sympathetic. The reason we were even talking about it is that W unleashed a torrent of abuse on him last week; I described that episode in my previous post sub-titled "Oh, the drama...". XH talked about what she had said to him, and then described her behaviors during their breakup. It was a carbon copy of what she and I are going through. The lying, the evasiveness...even the words she used were the same.
I then apologized to XH for all of the hell I had put him and his boys through 12 years ago. He hugged me, told me he had forgiven me long ago and that I was always welcome in his house. His new W felt the same way.
I was speechless.
Later that night, I received a private message on Facebook from SS24 (his oldest son). I had sent SS24 a birthday card & letter this past Sunday and told him that regardless of what happened, he would always be family to my 2 kids and me. SS24 wrote that he was devastated by his mother's actions, that he would never allow me or my kids out of his life and that he, too, had forgiven me long ago for everything. He was proud of how I had stepped up to take care of his brother (SS21) and felt that I was just what his mother needed, but she was too selfish to see it.
It was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that W's XH, his W and her oldest son were supporting me in this sitch. The true meaning of forgiveness was shown by all 3 of them.
Today, nothing between W and me has changed. We've had a couple of R/M talks that have gone nowhere; she remains confused and conflicted. But thanks to my faith, my continued personal growth, the love of family & friends and great advice from people on this board I am not going to give up on my W or my M until I know it is time to stop. That time is not yet here.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
