Well I guess I should update since my last post, even if just to journal and get it out. I think I can make more sense of things when I get them out like this...if anything makes sense right now.
So the past few days were light and friendly after the letter, no relationship talk. We had a family day on Saturday and again on Sunday. It was fun, and no expectations on my part. I could sense that relieved him. The kids joined us and seemed to enjoy the family time.
I've been working to GAL and it doesn't come as naturally as I would like yet but working on it.
Last night we had a bit of a slip and my initial reaction was old behavior and I eventually shifted back to DB, not my initial reaction just yet.
Condensed version here:
S14 was at the mall with friends and H was going running after work, S17 was working till 10. I decided to go to the movies while S14 was at the mall and would pick him up after to bring him home. In the past I would have just stayed home, cleaned, etc. H called me after work and asked what we were doing. I said S14 is going to the mall and I am just going out for a bit, see you tonight.
Fast forward to the evening, got home and had nice conversation. Later in the evening, there was a disagreement. He became upset and said "prior to the letter last week you were analyzing everything I do" and I said "that is not at all fair, I am the only one doing counseling here" (break out the 2x4, I know I shouldn't have pointed that out).
We argued for a few minutes and he was angry that I was so 'mysterious' about what I was doing sometimes when I say 'going out for a bit' and not specific enough. He said that he was tempted to do the same to 'get me back' (I realize how immature that statement is but was very hurt in the moment). He has plans with his friend tonight and was going to be cryptic to get even (as if his MLC is not enough I suppose).
After a bit, I had a lightbulb moment, and simply said "I'm sorry you feel that way" and rolled over to go to sleep. A few minutes later he kissed me and said I love you. Very confusing
This morning he was not angry, kissed me and said I love you before leaving for work. He took his bag with him so I suppose he is going to his friends directly, but I didn't ask any questions. Just told him to have a nice day and told him I love him too.
This is a rough road. I've been reading a lot and trying to post to others. I don't think I've come across this yet, is it a 'normal' reaction for the spouse to get angry when you start to GAL. He keeps saying that he doesn't have one (symptom of MLC) so I guess me getting one, is triggering him?
