Can My Marriage Be Saved, Pt 2

[a girl]

Was doing ok today, but am now angry again. It makes me so angry that he sits there, looking miserable and telling me he wants to be "fair" to me and will pay my car payment and feels bad he hurts me .. and then goes and chats with her online while SITTING ON MY COUCH.

Last night I said, "It think it's disrespectful and crappy. Do you disagree?" and he said, "I don't know what I think."

[~¤DG¤~]

It is very disrespectful of him to do that, and I am glad you said something to him about it.

[bboom]

Girl, what kind of progress are you making on getting a life? You seem to focus a lot of time on what he is doing. He is going to do whatever he wants and you can't control him. It's time to focus on making yourself happy.

[a girl]

Girl, what kind of progress are you making on getting a life? You seem to focus a lot of time on what he is doing. He is going to do whatever he wants and you can't control him. It's time to focus on making yourself happy.

I do a lot of venting here so I don't do it at him. Doesn't always work.

I'm starting yoga in a couple of weeks, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm also pretty busy at work, which helps keep my mind off things. I'm going camping with some friends and S in late August, which will also be fun. I've gone out for drinks with some coworkers a few times, and hope to continue that, as it's a lot of fun and good for my career.

Honestly, I think it will be a lot easier for me once he's not around - the stress and anxiety is making things really hard.

[~¤DG¤~]

I think it will be easier in some ways but harder in others.
The plus will be you won't have to look at him on a daily basis and be reminded of all that is happening in your M, but the bad part is he'll be gone and you'll eventually miss him.
But...this will be the perfect time to rediscover who you are as a person.
This is a good thing.

[a girl]

Thanks, DG.

I'm feeling less angry today. I was pleasant to him - even joked about it, "I know it weirds you out that I'm being nice but you don't want to say anything in case it makes me stop."

Not ... you know, hang out, buddy buddy, but nice.

Stayed at work a bit late tonight chatting with some co-workers - keep reminding myself how truly blessed I am to have such awesome people all around me. I've been pretty open about what's going on since I discovered OW, and the outpouring of caring and concern has just floored me.

At one point, it made me cry - I was like "These people I work with are treating me better than my husband of 9 years." But it helps that people care.

[jbnati]

I think it will be easier in some ways but harder in others.
The plus will be you won't have to look at him on a daily basis and be reminded of all that is happening in your M, but the bad part is he'll be gone and you'll eventually miss him.
But...this will be the perfect time to rediscover who you are as a person.
This is a good thing.

I agree with DG totally. It kind of cuts both ways. It's nice to be free of the drama, but you will miss him. Be sure to really work on GAL'ing.

I am glad you're less angry today.

[a girl]

He's gone to look at furniture for the new place. He said he'd go to his office afterward and be back "really late".

Stupid me, I said, 'Is that because it's painful for me to have you here, or because I asked you not to chat with her here?'

He said, "Mostly the former, but .. I will probably chat with her."

My fault for asking, I guess.

Spending some time online talking to a friend, though - it helps.

[~¤DG¤~]

As hard as it is, don't ask him things like that.
I know he's being honest, but his honesty isn't exactly helping, is it?

[GAL Man]

As hard as it is, don't ask him things like that.
I know he's being honest, but his honesty isn't exactly helping, is it?

I agree with DG, ask him nothing, esp q which could hurt you more.

Also as said, when he does go, whilst will be hard and you will miss him, look at it as a chance to build and better YOU.

Also RE your boundry about talking to OW should be to do it, if he has to, too do it not around you IMHO.

Keep going, your doing great