Can I "fake" GAL?

[Very Confused]

So tonight I had to snap the rubber band on my wrist to maintain NC. I don't know what was so hard about tonight. Part of it's because we've been speaking almost daily in some form or fashion. So I had all but given up for today and he called me. I was so excited. I know my moods shouldn't hinge on whether or not we have contact..I just can't help it. I hide it from him of course, but I don't have to pretend to be happy when I'm speaking to him, because I really am. I'm fully aware of the fact that I haven't let go or dropped the rope.

So we talked briefly then he texted me a bunch before he went to bed. For the first time in about 6 months, it felt like the "old us". It was fantastic and I hope he felt it too.