. . .and I need an encouraging word. He is doing the responsible thing -- moved close to our house so the teen kids can visit. Told me before I noticed his clothes are missing. He only wants a dresser and desk and chair. He'll continue financial support but he is also spending money like a sailor. (No offense to any Navy people out there!) we've been "working on it" 6 months. The kids are out of town this week. I have a few friends who are making time for me, I love them. I am saying little to him as he is in MLC and depression. I've read the books. he thanked me for keeping it civil. I can't believe this is happening. A cliche but, yup, can't believe it.
M 20 years 2 teenage kids ILYBINILWY 12/2010 MC til 5/2011 IC for him 5/2011 Still living together
You have my understanding, sympathy and a whole lot of empathy. No matter how it's done, IMO, it's still like having the rug pulled out from under your feet. When this all first happened for me a friend of mine simple said, " forget him." Hindsight says if I had done just that, I probably would have been a lot further along than I am now.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Yes, we are not D but I did file for legal separation, to protect the money, for me and the kids.
I am so detached! except for praying for him, cursing how much crap he left here at home (both emotional garbage and his possessions! I do not let him lead me down the path of an argumnet. We never really argued, but when he makes a comment I let it go, this MLC is in his head.
My 180's include filing for separation -- he's stunned I did it first. I got out of town soon after he moved out. When he calls or texts I have stoppped pleading for him to be happy in our marriage -- my 180 there is to be nice and friendly but kinda busy. I do not mention MC or IC --he said he's a little sad I do not brig it up any more. When we were happily married we had an agreement I needed to stay out of "his" garage. Now that he left, I cleared out an area and park my car in there. He took that as a slap in the face, as silly as it sounds.
GAL: I've invited friends and neighbors back into my life. For a few years H was depressed and closed himself off from people. Now that I am being honest with them about H's problem they include me in plans and call or text. I am looking for work and also thinking about returning to school. I've taken a few classes and seminars and it was really nice to be on campus again and see a bigger world, talk to different people. I am cooking the food I love, not the junky crap H liked! That's minor but funny to me.
M 20 years 2 teenage kids ILYBINILWY 12/2010 MC til 5/2011 IC for him 5/2011 Still living together
