HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed - PART 2

[angel61]

I agree. You are beating yourself up waay too much.

It is normal to feel anger and resentment. The important thing is you do recognize that it is not a good thing. As 25 mlc says (something to this effect, can't remember the exact words.

"Anger is like setting yourself on fire to get smoke in your oponents eyes"

And believe me, after going through this or a year now, I have discovered that not only I am hurting myself when I get angry, and also, hurting the marriage and the family, because it inevitably makes the situation worse.

Think of it this way: you are not doing anything wrong, he is. demanding at this point that he do the right thing just won't work, as he is damaged, sick, having a MLC, or whatever else. You know he was a good man before this all started (just like my H, and many others here in the boards), so we know that at this point they are NOT acting like themselves. Thats why we call them aliens!

Hopefully, someday, their true selves will emerge and the alien will leave. But until then....

Leave it to God. Forgive him... and let go.

I know, easy to say, and truth to tell, it is a looong process. People have been saying it to me since I started posting, and I still have to totally do it.

And about faith .....I believe that it takes a conscious effort as well to maintain it. I read up everyday, read devotionals from rejoice ministries. They believe in standing for your M, and it is that belief now that keeps me from just bolting out of that door one day and leaving everything.

There is somuch in the future for you, as you said, you are still young. It will pass....