Now I am failing in my faith. I feel it slipping away. I know God is there and yet I acted so un-Godly in my anger toward Ex-P.
AA35, you are beating yourself up WAY too much over this. I didn’t read anything in your update where you said anything terrible. You didn’t call him names that I remember; you didn’t try to specifically hurt him that I remember. You got angry.
You’re not God, you’re human.
Now, if you see something that you want to learn from, then that is great. Learn from it, improve for the next time. That is progress, that is good.
Now, I am a spiritual person but not a religious one. However, I do respect religion. I am pretty certain Christianity teaches forgiveness, right? Forgiving yourself.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
