As you know, I favor making sure that my wife feels loved, but letting her know that she gets to make choices about herself and I get to make choices about myself.
One of the things that really helped me was convincing myself, I ultimately, I am responsible for my own happiness. That is when I was a child I was responsible for amusing myself and keeping myself reasonably happy. If my wife dies before I do, I will also be responsible for my own happiness at the end of my life.
To impose an obligation on my wife to be my source of happiness is not fair to me or her. That thought along with focusing on an active GAL, really helped me.
Good luck to both you and your wife.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
