So Sunday night i decide to shut my phone off. I was just tired of all the BS and just dont really want to talk to W, well i do but you know what i mean. So i go all day with my phone in my pocket and i don't turn it on. In my mind i'm thinking there are going to be some seething text messages from W because i have my phone off and that i'm ignoring, which i kind of am.
So about 10:00 last night i turn my phone on and i only have two texts from her. The first one asking me if i felt better today and the second one asking me why my phone is off.
M: My phone died last night when we were texting, i put it on the charger and forgot about it.
W: what do you mean you forgot about it?
M: I was running late for work this morning and forgot it at the house.
W: No you didn't! I was at the house don't lie to me
M: When?
W: I went there today i had no clue why u weren't texting me back.....so don't f'ing lie to me you haven't been there all day and you had your phone cause it wasn't there.
M: Your pillow and blanket were still there when i got home from work and left for my hockey game.
W: And you didn't take your skates....so for real stop lying
M: Those are my ice hockey skates! My roller hockey skates are in my bag.
W: Ok i believe you
W: And don't ever make me think you're dead on the side of the road again.
M: I'm glad you believe me, cuz it's true....What?? Why did you think that?
W: Cause you weren't responding hello!
M: Oh geez.....i'm sorry i scared you
W: You better be
M: I am =x)
M: I felt a little better today
W: ok good
M: I didn't mean to scare you
W: I know you didn't
M: I'm sorry i scared you =:(
W: It's ok....ok goodnight take your phone tomorrow or i will have to search for you again
M: Hmmmmm....maybe i'll forget it again =o)
M: Nite babe
M: Nite girls, luv u all xoxoxoxo
So that was pretty much our text conversation last night. She had said she was filing for divorce the night before and i just felt like i needed to shut the phone off and be "alone" so to speak. Yes i know i did lie to her about not having my phone with me but i felt i needed to do this for me. I'm going to let her initiate contact with me, i know this will be extremely hard but it's something i need to do. I want my family back so bad but i'm sure that i've been doing all the wrong things to achieve my goal. I've been reading through some of the Successful Men stories in the Staying Solution-Focused Workshop and i so want to be one of those success stories.
So the question or questions i have is what do i have to do achieve my goal?? I know there are alot of people here with great advice. I read through Denver and ninelives threads and i see all the great advice that they get. I want to be a sponge and soak up all this great advice. I love my W and kids more than anything in the world, I'd give up all i have to just have them back!!
I pray everyday that things will change that my W will come back home. God bless all of you.
