Waiting to PIECE. No PEACE when waiting

[MHL]

9,
I am going to tell you something, you are instilling FEAR in your W when you say sh!t like this VVVVVVV down here.

she asked if that involved effing other womn and i said, IDK, u knnow what i want but i dont know if i can just sit around all summer while u make up mind.

and guess what??????

yup, she reacted out of fear........

She got angry at that.

Well DUH!!!!!

This is simple..........

BE NICE

DON'T BE MEAN.

What you said up there was plain and simple mean, it wreaks of anger, resentment, payback, judgement and all the other sh!t YOU need to exise out of your brain with a LASER.......ASAP.

She is telling you in her way that she wants you but is afraid.

She f@cked up big time and knows it. She is looking to you to see if you are MAN enough to overcome it, can you forgive her????

I would not want to be with someone the rest of my life if they were going to hold something over my head the rest of my life.

Let me give you an alternative to that conversation......

9: I think i need to continue with my plan to unwind this summer.

W: Does that involve effing another woman?

9: No it does not but I understand that you are concerned about it, would you like to tell me about it???

W: I just can't get the idea out of my head.

9: I understand exactly how you are feeling, I would like to reassure you that I am committed to us but I have feelings that I am dealing with too. I would like to work on this together when you are ready, let me know when you would like to talk about this more and maybe we could come up with a plan.

And that is how it starts.

Someone has to put down their "hurt" first.

The other thing you are forgeting here is TIME.......

and you are putting PRESSURE on her big time with this......

u knnow what i want but i dont know if i can just sit around all summer while u make up mind.

I know you are part of this wonderful group here and trust me I had the same support and 2x4's when I needed them so I will pass this along with that in mind.

You effed up dude.

I know you are unsure and that is fine. If you can't do the interactions right then don't do them and be honest with her and tell her that you are working through some sh!t and need some space.

Do you want this woman???

Do you Love this woman???

You need to figure out what you want first, then commit to it and follow through.........Actions match Words.

Listen I know you got a lot going on......life s@cks and its unfair, there is my sympathy.

I am not going to apologize for being harsh, think about the message you are sending to your kids.

You guys are spending time together, making love, probably being affectionate in front of the boys......and your not sure!!!!!

Dude you need to get it together.

Cheers