HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed - PART 2

[AloneAt35]

Angel, that's an interesting thought. I don't know why he let me witness the fight other than that he seems so emotionally strung out that he couldn't hide it. He really seemed to want my advice too, but I wouldn't give it.

In terms of whether or not Ex-P was used to me fixing him or his life, all I can say is that he has always been very, very socially insecure. He seems to have a hard time 'reading' other people's emotions or trusting his own responses. (For example, he used to 'rehearse' interactions with me in regards to his work, or before attending a challenging social occasion like a funeral, etc.) So yes, he's "crying for help"...he wants me to help him navigate through his relationship with OW! He tried to elicit my advice several times during the day, but I just won't help him.

So yes, I got to see him insert foot in mouth, say the WRONG things, start yelling and then have her hang up on him. Then he wanted me to tell him what he did wrong! Sorry Ex-P, the relationship coach isn't available anymore. (He's so clueless he actually thought I might work against my own interests. The man is living on planet bizarre.)

When people here on DB say that the OW woman is acting like a predator, I just don't know what to think. I did some reading about online dating scams and most of them involve never meeting face to face and requests to wire money internationally, etc.

Ex-P and OW have spent several weekends together, so I don't think it is a scam, but she *IS* a major weirdo. I don't know if you read any of my original posts about her, but she changed her name after they began communicating, she has legally changed her first and last name at least once that Ex-P knows about, she claimed her biological child was just a kid she was babysitting before finally fessing up, she's only let Ex-P meet her son once (and only after he demanded to) - and they are all going to be living together in a couple of weeks, she's never let Ex-P see or come to her home and now claims that HIS new home is a home she bought, she invited Ex-P on a trip to meet her extended family but then at the last minute said her mom was too sick to meet him after he took vacation from work and booked a flight, she's forced him to start wearing a wedding ring but won't tell her son that they are in a relationship, she won't tell Ex-P her age, she has a heavy Eastern European-accent but won't tell her country of origin and says she is mostly French, and she wants to handle the financial details of the dissolution of our properties, etc...its all just very, very weird. The weirdest thing to me, however, is the amount of contact she has with him and how short his proverbial leash is. They seem to exchange literally dozens of emails and phone calls a day and she threatens him constantly about contact with me.

Ex-P claims that she is just a very private person and he explains all of the weirdness away as her being very in love with him and just being jealous, as well as her being protective of her son who was supposedly almost kidnapped by his father (a lawyer) as an infant.

I'm so glad its not my mess. The weird thing is that even he was suspicious of her at first, but now seems to trust her stories, so I have to believe that he's checked her out enough to feel that she's on the up and up. He believes she loves him and who knows, she probably does. Its clear that he's in love with her, and boy does it hurt me.

How does a man go from seemingly a normal, upstanding, successful, and apparently happy person (in his 20-year relationship)...to getting involved in something so WEIRD with a person who is so beneath him in so many ways???

Its hard not to take that personally.