I think I'm done.

[ericmsant2]

Crushed

My big as* football player sized buddy…..Dude, I am sorry you are going through this chit! First – chin up dude. You will make it and the craziness will stop when you want it to. It really is that simple. Take away the button and she can no longer press it.

I am in no way detached. I spent Independence Day in a 3 hour yelling match over the phone.

I disagree.. I think you may be detached. I also think you are now really pissed the f off and will no longer tolerate her bull. You spent 3 hours screaming….not because you are not “detached” but because you are now starting to face the anger. You are not starting to stand up and say no more! Personally, I also think that you are struggling with being “done”….but that is just me. You may be “done” but you are afraid to be really “done”. Afraid that maybe by admitting that you are done that this is it. This is the finally. Crushed, it does not have to be so. You can be done today and not done tomorrow. It really is okay to vacillate between done and not done.

I don't like the sitch I'm in.

Sorry I will try and be sensitive in my response………..

THEN FUC*ING CHANGE YOUR SITCH! You control this. You may not see it now…but all of this is really under your control. You want to deal with her…that is your choice…you want to hang up on her…your choice. You are the fu*king man here dude. DB is not always about “I’m sorry you feel this way”. NO….sometime you need to stand up for how and what you believe and feel.

a camera phone finds me and some jealous b*tch sends the snap to W.

And you give a chit because…..? The answer to this should tell you want you need to know.

Before I forget (damn I’m getting old)….

Suddenly, I'm as bad as she is.

Consider her actions / responses….. as it relates to the below comment…

She wants it over with

Does she? OR DO YOU? Crushed, let me tell you something…something that I realized not to long ago. My STBXW is NOT done….not by a long shot. My STBXW deep inside her heart is in so much pain…..

(why do you say this Eric)

Cause she still tries to push my buttons. She still does stuff that show that she is emotionally invested. I am done…not her…I am…and I choose to be! I love the old wife with all my heart…this new person…well not so much so…so I choose to be done.

Think about this for a sec….do you think she would call you to scream if she was done? Do you think that she will call you hound you and piss you off if she is done? IMO, NO. When you are done you are done….nothing that is said of done will change it. She aint done by a long shot…sorry man. So YOU Crushed will need to decide what and how you deal with HER. We have said all along…..YOU DECIDE!

but at my height, I'm hard to miss.

FTR, I still think the NYer Rican can take ya ……just kidding…just kidding….:)

OM has had no consequences

The fact that you give a chit says what to YOU?

I intend to send it to his supervisors.

FTR, I have not read the letter yet….BUT….the fact that you are going to send it to his supervisor should say something to you. Fuc& it….let me say what it says to me….

MANIUPLATION, HURT, ANGRY, GUILT…..

Those are the words that come to mind when I think that you will MAY send the letter. And FTR….I think my STBXW is still boppin OM….who has kids….do you think I would send a letter? If not, then why?

Okay I read the letter now….

1) You do come across as a jilted spouse
2) You are really pissed off
3) You blame him for YOUR wifes actions (normal yes…but actually not his fault – FTR, I did the same for a long time….make that long time. Why? I was afraid to be pissed off at my STBXW)

I have read here the capacity for anger that your wife holds is only rivaled by that of Eric's wife

Hey MHL…but it’s a “DRY Anger” so it is different…..hehehe… Sorry Crushed I had to.

Crushed,

Stop freaking worrying about what she is going to say and do. Continue to do this and no matter if you are divorced or not…YOU will never be happy.

Live your fu*king life dude….

Forgive her and forgive yourself….

Stop blaming OM and yourself…

This is her freaking train wreck…

Get out of the way….

Me…I would go as dark as possible.

How? With children?

Simple….we do not talk and I only respond to text as they relate to the kids….everything other form of communication is via email. I do not see her…(nor do I want to) outside of a court of legal proceedings.

Crushed….i was afraid to be done…I was afraid of living my life..I only knew how to be married…I was afraid of getting angry at her…I was afraid of really loosing her…I was afraid of divorce….I was afraid to be happy…I was afraid of the life style change…I was afraid of so much…

I blamed om, I blamed her, I blamed anyone that could listen…..

Guess what….

I am happy!

I let her go…..let her go completely.

Do I still love her? Yep…always WILL….I Just CHOOSE NOT TO BE WITH HER.

My choice…

I choose not to deal with her

I choose to get out of her way

I choose to be the best dad I can be

I choose to NOT lower myself or become who she is today….

I choose to wish her happiness but protect myself and my kids.

I choose to be the man I was always meant to be

I choose to really detach

You can make some of the same choices…..

These choices do not say that YOU and YOUR wife will not get back together in the future…..

BUT NOW

RIGHT NOW…..

YOU NEED to let go…and heal buddy….

Keep GAL’ing

DO not let her or anyone else take away your happiness….and that

CRUSHED IS YOUR JOB….

Oh...and as your friend....Don't send the letter - it really will not accomplish what you think it will. Actions buddy...speak louder....cut off the phone...hang up on her...whatever...but do not send the letter.

God Bless,
Eric