I had an interesting text exchange with W today, has Nothing to do with R or M but about SS14. When we were leaving the BB tournament yesterday the coaches had set up a time to meet to carpool back for today's game. Both W and I work and it is a 2 hour commute to the game so I asked another parent that is a close friend if he would be able to give SS a ride if necessary he said no problem!
I sent W a text stating that SS had to leave at 2 and that our friend said he could take him. She said that she had made arangements at work and she would be able to take him, I said no problem and told my SS that W was taking him that if he wanted to drive up with friend he would need to talk to W.
Well, today at 11 This is the text convo we had:
W: Sarcastic, thanks!!!! SS14 is really under the impression that friend is driving him. His words " I was told that friend could drive me". This is the $hit we were talking about last night. Thank you again for really leaving me out of the loop. He too doesn't even think about S9 or me. WTF!!!! To much selfishness in this situation!
W:forwards a text she sent SS14 S what $ucks out of this whole situation, you never respond to any of my texts... I am the only one in your life that has always been there since the day you were born. I have always given you my all at everything you need. And it breaks my heart to know that you dont want me in your life. I keep trying and all u do is push me away. I love you dearly, always have and always will. Good luck at your game. Play hard.
This is what I sent SS14.... I have lost him to you... This is proof!!!!! It whatever you say he will listen to. Thanks!!!!
ME: I'm really sorry you feel that way, I have not, and I do not want to take SS14 from you. I can completely understand how you feel. I believe that even if I was available to drive he would still attempt to go with someone else. As I told you yesterday there were no plans made for him to go, it was mentioned and that sounded good to SS. I was not trying to undermine anything you had set up. I can understand that you hurt by this, please try and see that he is a teenage boy trying to manipulate the situation so that it suits him. Not me, not you, him. We can easily make this about you and I but I choose not to. If you would like the blame to fall on me, so be it.
W, please don't let him get his way. I know this is difficult but he is acting like a baby throwing a hissy fit. he needs to realize that he cannot get his way when he does this. I had already told him that you had made plans to take him and that there was no need for friend to drive him. If he goes with Friend he will feel like he has the power over everything, please don't let him pull one over on us both.
W: Please set him up w a ride. I am picking up S9. The rest is up to you two, as it was yesterday.... Silly of me to have wanted to be involved as a mother to my child. So you run the show H. I have work to do.
He doesn't need the stress before the game as he does not need the stress of the details I shared with you!!!!
M: I am done with this. You and SS14 need to deal with the issues between you two. I will no longer attempt to have some sort of option set up to try make it easier on us both. We step in and help other parents all the time, they often offer to help us. I had simply made sure we had another option available to us.
YOU are making the choice to blame me for the relationship you have with SS14, that's fine. I will no longer make any parenting decisions in regards to him. All I have done is be a father to him and you find fault in that. I no longer want to be involved in this at all.
W: As I mentioned this is something you started yesterday... Please find him a ride. I am not blaming the relationship, I am stating what occurred and what he heard yesterday... I was not there. All I will do is drop him off at in n out.
M: I was clear in my communication to him I was clear that you were taking him, he chose to manipulate, you chose to bite. I am no longer going to find myself getting beat up by both of you by getting caught up the middle.
It ended there no response from her I hope they figure it out. I feel like I did well in communicating with her any feedback?
M 38 W 32 T 11 M 2 SS 14 S 9 ILYBNILWY March/2010 EA found out Oct 2010 PA found out Jan 2011 living together alone
