When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

Wii - I really do need to get that book. Is it from a one sided view or does it require participation of both parties? If that is the case then I'm doomed. He wouldn't participate in anything remotely having to do with improving something that doesn't exist.

Julia - All absolutely spot on comments. Expressing any kind of hope or dream in regards to this R we now have is pretty difficult for me. The fear and cynicism overrides my ability to have hope. The exhaustion is too much sometimes.

In thinking about this and what I would need to hear from him I read my horoscope for today (I never read it but just happened to click it today):

Taurus - You may be looking at a ver small problem as though it's a very large problem. It isn't because it was presented to you incorrectly. It isn't because te way yo discovered the problem was in some way foggy or misleading. Your perception is off most likely because there is a very volatile and emotional situation behind te problem that has distorted it in your eyes. Someone may be trying to make amends, but in the words that person chooses or in the memories the issue brings forth, you are recalling something that upsets you. Step back. Gain some perspective. And then accept the apology that is being offered, even if it isn't direct.

Ok...so....that hit on a few key things.

This past Saturday my landlord came over to have me sign a new lease. Gabe was there when he got there and since he has known us for 10 years he asked, very gently, if we were back together. Gabe was standing right there but didn't answer so I had to. I just said we were working on it and left it at that. It was very uncomfortable feeling.

Later that night I asked Gabe if he was ok with what I had told the landlord and his response was a half-hearted, "Yeah, that was fine. No problem."

No problem? WTF does that mean???? It was an opening an he shut it down faster than if he had actually slammed a door on me. It hurt pretty bad and I'm still stinging from it. Even though he does loving things all day or me and comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me all the time, that cut me to the bone.

So....is it like that crazy horoscope said? Or is it really as bad as it feels to me?