Figgi - I am so glad you said that God speaks to you daily. So, what would you do if you clearly heard God telling you that this whole journey that your spouse is on is for his salvation and that He (God) would restore everything to you? Wouldn't you do what God told you to do how ever long it took? Or - until God told you to do something else?
MMF - I understand your frustration and I am glad that you let it out. As hard as it was I think it cleared the air for so many answering here. For instance - I am starting to see the compassion in BH that I didn't see before. I always felt anger but now I feel compassion.
Starsky - my kids/stepkid are 20 and older. When this started with my husband my stepson told me that he guessed he would have to wait until he started his own family before he would ever have a family. It broke my heart. My oldest daughter was the one who figured out that my husband was in his MLC. (This is her stepdad.) Her comment to me was that we (our family) would just have to wait it out and hopefully things would be better in the end this time. (We went through this some 20 years ago with her Dad and we didn't give it enough time and we all moved on with our lives.) My youngest daughter who is 24 doesn't tell me much. She and my husband were really close and this whole experience has hurt her. To this day every once in a while she can cry for hours because of her pain. Yet, if she needs him or calls him to help her with something he will go to her and do whatever she needs. (She also cries about her dad too and he is just now apologizing to his daughters for what he put the family throuhg.) She supports my standing/waiting too.
Starsky - my stand is more than just what I believe the Bible says. I am doing what God has told me to do. Verbally told me to do. The scriptures just reinforce what I believe.
Also, I want everyone to know that I am well aware that not every marriage will be saved. I do believe that every marriage CAN be saved. I believe that God can change people (note what I said - God can change people) and then the marriage can be saved. I know how hard it is to wait and I don't condemn anyone who can't wait it out. (I gave up with my first marriage after waiting for 4 years.) You can't wait/stand without a GREAT support group and I can't do it without God helping me. BUT I don't want anyone telling me that my stand is wrong when I am listening to God. When you are listening to God you have to be very careful who/what you listen to as advice in the world. It's very hard. I have well meaning friends who say they are Christian tell me how to handle situations that just don't feel right to me. I have to pray about it and do what I feel/know is right. They are just now (after 4 1/2 years respecting me for my decision/s). And Satan will try and trick you to believe his voice is the voice of God and get you to do things that are contrary to scripture. It's a hard journey but it is worth it.
DBing is the same. Let go of the other person (let go and let God), change what needs to be changed in you (let God change/direct you), and give it time. Changing (DBing) is a life time process.
