DG, I believe with my whole heart, you are not a fool. My Ex-P HAS moved on, and even I am not done. If any of us is a fool, it is me, but I will know the time to 'give up.' (Trust me, I struggle with when I will know EVERY moment.)

You say that for all you know, your H has moved on. Think of us here whose spouses/partners are with an OP. Think of the marriages restored after affairs. Think of the relationships rebuilt after divorces. Yes, it is a minority; yes, the chances are slim. I think that all of us DBers recognize that. But perhaps the numbers would be a little greater if hope was not lost, if someone was still waiting and wanting...

Are we hurting ourselves, maybe. I know that I so long to be loved. I know that I am young(ish) and sweet and could be loved again by someone new, but I am not ready to love someone else. I'll know when I am and it will probably just sneak up on me. Maybe you are the same?

But no, I don't think you are a fool because none of us knows the future.

Me: 35
Him: 43
Together: 19 1/2 years
1st Bomb (IDLYAM): March 2011
2nd Bomb (OW): April 2011
He abandons home/bills/everything: May 2011
He's bought a new house for OW: September 2011