will be strongly affected by each contact with their affair partner.
Just as an alcoholic is by drinking. I do not disagree Starsky.
The question becomes what can you do when an alcoholic is not ready to go to rehab?
When you drag them there.
You know what is best for them and you can even call the cops and have them comitted under the grounds they will harm themselves.
They will not have meaningful change in their life or their habit until THEY decide to do it.
Anyone who thinks they have that power over them there is a place called Al-Anon that deals with rescuing co-dependent behavior.
That is the rabbit hole you go down.
When the efforts to try to control what is going on fail...
there is a lot of anger, resentment and certain amount of holding yourself responsible for not being able to achieve the desired effect.
An LBS in the same situation runs this same risk.
This does not mean enable them either. It does not mean keep liquor out for the alcoholic to drink. They WILL find a drink whether you try to control that or not.
It becomes a question of the simple fact that you cannot control the addiction so control what you can...
Its effects on you and your family.
I know we have a different opinions on this Starsky and I respect yours. Mine comes from my life experience with a W in extreme crisis and alcoholic that lived in my home while this was going on. So my words are not based on anecdote or even a compilation of stuff I have read.
It came from my life.
Bobby my apologies for this coming out so early on your thread here but it is good to know that people do have different opinions on this topic.
Also that not all advice is appropriate for every situation. Which is why I encourage you to read and decide for yourself.
What is relevent is not whether your W is MLC or not. She is in crisis and so is your M.
The best way to handle that right now is removing yourself (detaching) from the emotion this is causing for you so you can do some clear headed thinking.
Set some healthy boundaries to allow that process to happen.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
