I wish he would stop haunting my dreams. I have had dreams about my H on a pretty regular basis lately. When I wake up, I am reminded of my reality and feel an intense sadness.
I feel like I am back sliding a little bit. I'm not doing anything different, I'm still GAL for myself and enjoying it, but my heart is hurting. It seems like sometimes I feel on top of the world, and other times I feel like jumping off of a cliff. (Metaphorically speaking.) I know everything I am feeling is normal and to be expected, it's all part of the hills and valleys that everyone on here speaks of.
Today is going to be hot as h*ll, so my 2 girlfriends & I are going to the beach. I have yet to be there this year and I'm looking forward to it.
I'm going to continue plugging along, trying my best to be happy despite my circumstances, and remind myself that I have evolved into a wonderful woman who deserves to be happy.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I'm going to continue plugging along, trying my best to be happy despite my circumstances, and remind myself that I have evolved into a wonderful woman who deserves to be happy.
You are absolutely correct DG!
I think even with detaching, those feelings ebb and flow. Perfectly normal.
Enjoy the beach and don't forget the sunscreen! I think I'm going to hibernate between 1 and 5 myself.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
DG: Hang in there. I understand your pain. I am in a pattern of waking up at 3AM and staring at the ceiling for 3-4 hours before getting up. This cannot be good in any way, shape or form.
Take heart in your evolution, and keep it going. You deserve no less.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
I had a great day at the beach with my friends. We swam, lounged, laughed and all around had a good time. I can't remember the last time I went to the beach with no kids. I think this might have been the first!
It was hot and the beach was crowded but we didn't care. It's not often that the 3 of us are able to get together at the same time, and we were all happy to be able to chill and relax. Despite sunscreen my face is fried, but I feel great. The subject of H came up once or twice and of course they think I'm stupid for wanting my M to work but that is their opinion. I know they love me and want me to be happy.
I'm beginning to lose hope that we'll ever be able to reconcile, but it is what it is.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤