Because I wasn't legally married (though in a 20 year partnership), the word "divorce" doesn't have the same control over me. My ex-partner was able to walk out and announce his intentions to marry OW within a matter of weeks. No law can protect me and so I've had to adopt the very same attitude that I am suggesting to you. Is it "giving up"? No! It is relinquishing control of tomorrow and focusing on surviving today.
I haven't read all the posts, but I really like this thinking. I chose not to use the words "breaking up" or "custody" or "Lawyer" all the time in my head anymore. I like to use softer words. I like to often reframe the situation.
The other day, I felt so much pain of rejection and abandonment and I knew it came too from childhood and I thought about my father and my boyfriend - both of whom have caused me pain, and I decided to reframe the "they abandoned and rejected me" - instead, I realized, I am a goddess and my beauty and light was simply too much for them to bear at times. It was like they had to turn away. It was too bright.
That's all. They simply "temporarily" turned away. And I still shine.
