I've had trouble with this, too. With some experimentation, I have found that simply asking for a hug and some support isn't needy, it's just human.

I've worked at finding a balance between allowing myself to be vulnerable again in front of my H (now that he no longer runs from it) and just getting stuck in the mud of emotions. One thing I've found that helps seem less needy is that I tell my H I'll be fine, I just need a big hug. And then, even if I don't feel perfect, I "act as if" I am--sort of like retraining myself that a big hug can make me feel better. This actually seems to work...just pretty slow.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]