I guess I am now an official member of the DB club

[Woodman]

jbnati &JustStunned- I'm working on GAL & 180. Right now I have set up the iron and ironing board and I am going to iron my entire wardrobe! I haven't ironed in many years. I spent 10 years in the NAVY so it's not like I don't know how to take care of myself, it's just that she always did it for me. However, I am doing this for ME today. I am going to looks the best I can be. I will not look like some rumpled old guy that his wife left him and he looks like he is sleeping in his clothes.

Detachment---One thing at a time bro.

JustStunned - Thanks for all your comments. Especially the house. I was just in a funk when I wrote that. I love this house and in some ways I hate this house. There were times when it felt like a prison. Like you say, who knows what the future holds. She may feel so bad about what she is doing that she gives me her equity in the house and I keep it. That's not likely but hey, you never know. Or maybe by the time we get to HER D being finalized, I may be reconciled to just leaving this house and starting over in a better smaller place.
I know I have to look to her like I am detached, but since I haven't seen or talked to her in about a month, I don't know how good I am going to be at that. Only time will tell. This period of being dark is helping I know. Still, I know that when I do see or talk to her my heart will be pounding and my palms sweaty. Hopefully I will be able to come across as cool calm and collected.
Here is a bizarre symptom that I just remembered a few days ago. We have always had a piano in our house and my wife is a very accomplished pianist/organist. She has practiced and played for enjoyment at least 2 hours a day for many years. She was the organist for our Church for 3 years and finally resigned in 12/10 so we could begin to do some traveling. Since December I have not heard her play more than 15 minutes total. It's like that joy is gone from her. She did tell me that it was becoming harder and harder to play by ear or memory because she was not able to pull up the melody in her head like she used to. Memory loss can be a symptom of a lot of things I guess.