Nearly 5 years but who is counting?

[missmyfriend]

@Starsky, I believe you are still not understanding my discussion on boundaries (or rules). I am referring to rules for my children. Since they "children" are now nearly 19 and 17 and live with their mother full time, there isn't a lot I can do about it. I am trying to say this as diplomatically as possible but you have a tendency to make strong opinions without asking questions to clarify the issue. Repeatedly, I have explained to someone who has small children that when your children are older (and they will always be my children), you will not have the control over them that you once did. My children have made the decision to stay with their mom because I have rules when they are with me. I have found that to be incredibly hard since I want to see them but, in the long term, I know they will benefit from my being consistent.

My W, instead of having consistent rules (boundaries), allows the kids to act over-independent of their age. When the kids run into issues, they react poorly because they haven't been prepared and they no longer feel they have someone to turn to. They come to me only as a last resort.

@Fig, are you speaking to me or someone else?