I haven't check in for some time. How things have changed for me.
I made that trip out to Calgary to visit and old (best) friend. We have known each other for 25 years and he was best man at my wedding. Talking with him and getting away from it all helped. As did something that happened while there. We were out at a bar and I had way too much to drink. For the first time in 23 years, I tried to "pick up" a woman. The short version is that I was successful and we had a great few days together while I was there. There is little chance of it going anywhere, since she is so far away and by the end of this year will be even further away, since her visa expires and she will most likely have to return to Czech. I am however, likely making a trip out there for a few days in a couple weeks, mostly just to see her. It's what makes me happy right now.
I don't know if it's the touch and attention of another woman, the Prozac (about 2 1/2 weeks in) or that I have finally truly moved on, but I am sooooooooo much happier now and almost never think of STBX or OM. I haven't had any contact since the day I left on June 6 and feel no desire at all to do so. I feel calm for large portions of the day for the first time in almost 2 years.
I have an appt. with my bank manager next week to apply for credit line to buy STBX out of the house. That is the first step towards finalizing the divorce, and now I just want to get it done.
I realized something in the last few days. I am 42, healthy, attractive, with grown children. I have a chance to do something very few people do at my age - anything I want!
