Forgetting those things which are behind......

[mockers2]

Thank you, Holdingon. You are right - the forgiveness is for me. It's a choice I am trying to make every day. I will continue to pray, as I know only God can accomplish this is me. One thing I am becoming accutely aware of are the many ways I fail each day, and that the strength I have shown through this last year has been His strength, not mine. (Not trying to be self-critical, just realizing that He must be an integral part of everything in my life - every aspect.)

Positives:
1. H worked all weekend, and said this AM that he misses me.
2. Had good nights with the children this weekend. Got to keep praying about this - how I treat them, the example I am setting. (Got to work on forgiving myself too, I guess.)
3. H and I have a date this week. He seems to really be enjoying our date nights.
4. H told me he appreciates the work I am doing around the house.
5. H called to see if I could take the afternoon off - he knows I can't, but it's nice to hear that he would liek it if I could.

Now for a question - in alot that I've read - DR and other books, also on quite a few threads here - it seems that an important part of working through the aftermath of an A is talking with your WAS about why it happened. This is something we have not yet done, and I'm wondering if it is truly necessary - can you tell I'm frightened? I'm thining it would be good, I just still feel some pain when thinking about bringing the whole thing up again. (I know very few details about the A - don't know when it started, although I have an idea generally when...Yuck - it's making me sick just thinking about it.)Lately, I've also had more frequent thoughts about the OP - maybe because a year ago this month is when I learned of her?

Anyway, I know we could talk about the why part without talking about the details of the A - I don't think I'll ever want to know the details. They would only fuel my bad thoughts, which lately have been getting less and less frequent. Knowing why would hopefully help me/us avoid the same mistakes. It just seems like it would be a painful process, but also seems like one that would in the long run be beneficial to the R. Just wondering if anyone out there had an opinion/experience/idea. Thank you.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers ~