So you are divorced, she got her half of the money and you got the house. She got everything she wanted. Divorce has consequences, yet you do not allow her to suffer them.
My questions for you are:
Why is she still living in your house? Why is she the one in the master bedroom? How long are you going to allow her to leech off of you? How do you think you look in your kids' eyes? What kind of example are you trying to set for them?
I've been getting these same questions over my past threads but...
I wrestled with kicking out my children's mother and in the end decided to let her be the one to choose to break up the household - still. Actually, I'm the one that's comfortible in my skin, while she sometimes appears not so much. She knows it's my house. All those years of nest building and redecorating - she know's what she's lost.
We actually had a fight over the master suite and VSV appeared. I am letting it go for the time being, the motive being to take away any more reasons for her to hate me and the marriage. It's just temporary. One benefit to being my S12's roomie is we've grown closer, which is nice.
She really isn't "leeching" since I pay no child support until she moves out. She pays half the utilities, her share of tuition, insurance etc; it's all in the settlement - Oh, and no alimony. When she moves out I have to pick up the slack as well as give her child support. It evens out in the wash.
The kids don't care either way, because they do not know about OM. All she's told them is that she doesn't want to be married anymore. With the exception that there is no affection or common interests between mom and dad anymore, life goes on for them. D17 is in her own teenage world and S12 is in his. They'd be more scarred and bitter if we all parted. If and when they find out what is really going on with their mother, I'll explain it to them; they don't seem concerned right now.
I am not trying to set any example for them. I am trying to do what's best for them at the moment - during this particular phase of their adolescense. It's not my priority to teach them life's lessons, which they will learn on their own. May be some day they will look back and think, dad put up with a lot of mom's sh!t for us!
It is also not my priority to see that XW suffer's the consequences of her choices. That, my friends, will take care of itself.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
