Haha. Ok Ken, believe me I will try not to let you down. If I were in charge of this I'd be in piecing by next week, lol! Still waiting. He has saturdays off, maybe IF he's going to text it could be tomorrow. But the sense of emergency has evaporated & I'm ok. If he doesn't reply, I will wait another 6 months and try again. I'm persistant, I will try again. Until something happens or he tells me to leave him alone. ;o) A few months ago I ran into a former employee who had recently seen my ex at a bar 1 block from my store. She said he told her we look the same age. Funny cuz she's 20 years younger and I think he meant it as a compliment to me and not a dis to her, but no 30 year old woman wants to hear she looks the age of a 50 year old. She said he'd had a few drinks and somehow touched on the topic of "me" and that he likes how great I look and how I don't look more than 30. On that Friday night he was alone in a bar 1 block away from where I work... making convo about me. Maybe I'm just way off... but that's fascinating to me. It's a BIG city, nyc. He could have a lonely man drink any ol place.
I was thinking about what I was doing and who I was when I met him. I was gal ing like mad to get my exh attention. I was running, doing yoga, meditating, journaling, keeping house meticulous & rinsing floors with yummy frankincense oil. I no longer do any of that. I think it's a good idea to revisit those activities. I was terribly depressed but hiding it with fake pma - fake it til you make it. He was attracted to something about me and it probably wasn't that I was in love with a cheating exh & was emotionally unavailable for anything new. But again, he was amazing during that time. So understanding and patient- maybe he liked being the "rescuer". The night we met I was a blubbery sobbing mess, crying mascara onto his shirt for a few hours. Any normal man would've run fast and far and not looked back. Why he ever wanted to see me again is a real mystery. But he had just been through it the year before, so he knew just what to say and offered advice, humor, support, and a lot of patience. Maybe he'd find me more interesting if I locked myself out the house and had a flat tire and a bunch of other calamities. Perhaps I shouldn't be so dang competent and independent. (i'm kidding) Well, I will get new running shoes this week and hit the pavement again. If I see him soon, I will want that kind of healthy look I was sporting that summer. Meanwhile... Tonight I'm headed to Harlem to check out a new club. Should be fun. Ex & I had a mutual friend who owns a bar up there too. I haven't seen him for years now, and I think I may pop in. If he's there, it will be nice to catch up. And maybe just maybe he'll share some news about the man of my heart's desire. If I see him it will be 1st time since before ex & I split, it seems impossible that he won't at least bring him up. If he knows anything, or if he shares anything is another story.
I'm amazed how much I can create so much over nothing. By the length of my posts, you'd think something were going on.
