Quote: Basically, I felt alot of resentment pre-bomb towards h with regards to child care and also to me not having any time to myself. I have come to realize recently that I never asked for help with the children (until I had really had it) or made a plan for something I wanted to do and talked to h about it. Good grief!
Boy - can I relate to this one! When my kids were smaller, I was awfully good at letting my H go and do his thing - but then resented that I felt so burdened with all the responsibilities. It was only later that I realized that I had had a totally unrealistic expectation that he was going to read my mind, come to me and say "here honey, I packed your gym bag, let me take the kids and you go ahead and take the morning off to go to the gym or whatever".
What HE saw was that I wasn't making any plans for myself, so he might as well go ahead and do his things. I resented him for not leaving room for me to do my things, but the truth was, I wasn't TAKING the time and space for my things - he would have given it to me if I'd asked.
As for the athletic companionship issue - the marriagebuilders.com site has some stuff on this issue, I think.
As for the evenings out - I used to skip my H's business trips - too much money, too hard to leave the kids, he'd be working anyway - BIG mistake. Now I go with whenever I can.
Work on being confident, get a makeover, be a goddess - and go out WITH him whenever possible - he'll be proud to have you on your arm if you carry yourself like an attractive, confident woman.
