Forgetting those things which are behind......

[mockers2]

Short notice was part of it the other night. But H has always gone out some - not very often - with his friends. Sometimes this is just guys - like the two guys I mentioned above, but sometimes, b/c of the nature of H's work, there are women who go too. In the past, when H went out with a group, I was invited, but often couldn't go b/c of school or work.

This has been an issue for H and me in the past. I would be wishing I could go, and missing H. H saw it as me being jealous of his female friends. I also have had low self esteem and felt I wasn't as interesting as his friends, which H couldn't understand at all - adding frustration.

I guess saying I'd like to go too, when he's going out with a group like that would be a 180 - I just wouldn't want H to see it as me being controlling or not trusting him. Also, sitting in a smokey bar for several hours doesn't sound like that much fun to me any more.

I wouldn't want to invite myself along when he's with just the guys, as I see this as time for him to talk with his friends about his father, and whatever else.

I just want H to feel he can have time with his friends like I do, although it is a bit different - I go to a girl's night out group once a month - all but one married with children - and we eat at each other's houses. A little different from going out with guys and girls - most of them single, twenty-somethings. See my delimma?