I hope you can find something to keep yourself busy. My FIL used to volunteer at a homeless shelter to serve meals. He loved being able to help others. Once, years ago, I stayed up all night baking five cakes, and delivered them to the shelter the next day. I did it because it made me feel good to give something to the people there. I get my S involved in helping others, too. It makes you feel more confident knowing you have a talent that you can use for others. Walking the shelter animals is a big help to the people there. Even if the people there are younger than you, doesn't mean you can't find some common ground with them, friends of all ages are nice to have.
How is your S doing now? Show him a stronger, more confident mother, and he will begin to gain new respect for you. My S told me when he was about fourteen or fifteen, that he admires me for the way I handled the whole situation with his F, and that he would always remember it. I never put him in the middle of it.
Will your S be with you on July 4th? If so, show him a good, fun time, no mention of ow, and nothing negative about his F. I can understand you wanting to stand for your M, but you can't constantly try to guilt your H into anything, because it works the opposite , obviously. Make an honest change in yourself, become a better you, and get some help for your depression. Find something positive to do each day. Happy Fourth? vc
my h asked my son last tues if he could go away to beach. son and i already had reservation to go beach on fri. i told son it was ok as long as i could pick him up fri. to stay with me, my sister and nephew at beach next to where they were staying and that plan was ok with h. on fri. i asked my sister to pick son up on way to our beach so i wouldnt have to see h. she said ok and went and picked son up. she said my h acted very unconfortable when she saw him. she has not seen him since he left home a yr and a half ago. she said he has a long biker beard and alot of tatoos on his forarm. i think he has really gone off the deep end with his pagan lifestyle. he probab'y felt i was holding him back all of these yrs from the biker ways. i wanted him to be a respectable looking family man.
my Sister said h seemed sad that son had to leave him at beach to stay with us. H gave my son money for all of us for the beach which was nice. i text him and thanked him and said have a safe trip home and i hoped he and son had a nice time at the beach. h text back they had a nice time and to have a safe trip. it hurts me to communicate with him though because it doesn't change anything.
So why don't you try moving on. I mean if your H isn't going to change his pagan ways and you're constantly depressed, when are you planning to file like you mentioned a month ago?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Are we really back at this stage again? You just called his ways "pagan", you condemn the music he listens to, etc. I believe there's something in the bible about tolerance. You want your H back the way YOU want him. It's not in your hands, but God's. Understand that.
So how long do you intend to wait? What if he files and wants to marry the OW? What about your son who sees his mom just sitting there acting pitiful and not getting the help she needs?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
im suppose to go away with my son and im having bad panic attacks because i will be far from home and i wont have my dog with me. she is like my therapy dog. i was really looking forward to the trip but yesterday i had a break down and all of this stuff with h really got to me. i think h is going to go away w ow when we are a way and it really hurts me. this is affecting my relationship w my son too because i had an angry outburst yesterday and told him i dont want him working with h any more, and son wasnt listiening to me to help me get stuff together for trip and i got really nervous.. im sorry i told son to work with h everyday this summer i feel like he is going to take him away from me. i think what set this off was h friend came to my house to check my a/c because i asked son to ask h if he knew an a/c man and h sent this guy over that i dont really like and i got really upset after he left knowing he sides with h and ow.
h went to beach with ow from fri to today. I felt sad about it. Son and i went away last week to beach with my whole family. We had a very nice time. Before we left h gave son 500 for us for vacation. H said to treat my family at beach. 2 weeks ago i needed brakes and the repair shop is about 3 miles away so i had to run back home. h told son that i shouldnt run home becaouse it was to hot 95 degrees. H wanted me to take my car to his friends shop to get brakes done but its to far away. I have not spoken to h in a long time. I only text maybe every 2 wks if i hv to. We are so distant i dont see any hope for this m. we never speak to each other. H drops off and picks up son mon to fri and they go to work, but i never go out to see him.
