i have began to fall back on this behaviour, i have not made a habit out of looking at texts, but yes, i have done it a few times
and of course the few times it has been done, i have not liked what i have seen
and it is something i don't want to repeat...it does not at all help me to move forward
not at all
my h is playing in the city tonight and i have to take my son in to see him this is especially an awkward situation for me right now and if i had not seen that he had been with someone else, it would have been a much better night all around
you know what, i had been getting stronger......day by day.....this set me back
at some point i will get to a place where i don't care that he is with someone else
right now i am not there
sorry if this is vague and not making much sense, i don't feel great at the thought of seeing him tonight....i feel nervous and a bit scared
i know that a week from now (hopefully sooner) i may feel very different and more sure of myself
but right now, i need to put on a happy face, as my son is thrilled to be going to see his daddy and make sure he has a wonderful time tonight
again, thanks to anyone who takes time to write....i know many of you are going thru your own hell and i am so very sorry
