Going N/C wish me perseverance/strength

[Queen_of_Swords]

As far as going dark I thought that meant absolutely no contact?

I am doing what my counselor recommended.
For the last several months I have texted him only on weekdays, a simple Good Morning ( name), if he wanted to respond he did , if he didn't he didn't.
I sort of treated it like passing a co-worker in the hall...a simple acknowledgement.
Counselor said I should not stop that abruptly, just not to do it as often and be random about it.

This morning after my Good Morning message, he got chatty, even wanted to invite us out for breakfast if we were up and dressed, and then stated his desire to see the kids more.

If he keeps pushing I would kindly let him know that these are the choices he needed for himself.

Yes, I think this is what I need to do as well. Gently but compassionately remind him that this was what he chose, and that this is what divorce looks like in regard to a working relationship with the ex-spouse and kids.

I am pulling away. On another thread someone said to me there was no law against being "done". For now...I am.
I don't want to see him or engage him beyond the superficial.

Really, this morning after he texted back a greeting I frankly thought that was all there was going to be from his end. He surprised me with more TM's.

I feel the WAS thinks everything is going to be so much better when they leave but what they don’t know is they are not repairing the problems, they are just masking them and they will surface again at some point.

Yes. You're right. They think that running will magically uncomplicate their lives and make them happier, not realising it isn't the external crap that makes one happy, but it's about attitude, acceptance, and thankfulness for what you do have. They also IMHO secretly hope we'll do badly without them.

A friend of mine said that my STBX thought he had put me and his married/family life in a pot by the door and believed I/it would wither away, but he doesn't realise I've figured out how to turn my face to the sun, absorb the rain...and he doesn't know I've found a source of fertilizer.