Feeling alone and frustrated with a 180.

[Psych77]

Thanks for your reply, Jack. The truth is a mix of reasons why I am doing this. I started doing the 180 in an attempt to get my marriage back...was entirely counterintuitive for me, but things have been bad enough that I knew I had to do something different, and felt like I had nothing left to lose.

W is not asking for divorce, but there has been a sort of emotional departure from the relationship. She has been very forthright about the fact that she has not wanted to be with me emotionally, that she does not trust me, etc. When I tell others the situation seems like less than it is, but in the context of our marital history, it is more than it seems.

So, while I started out doing this only in an attempt to return our relationship, while I have been doing it I have been, I guess, "growing" a little. Realizing that some of these things have needed to change. Which is not to say it hasn't been very difficult. Sometimes, trying not to pursue, just trusting that things will get better if I just persist, has me white-knuckling it through the day. And I do feel isolated without more interaction between us. But I also feel more secure, less afraid of being abandoned, when I am treating myself like my needs count for something.

So, I guess the reason why I am using these strategies is mixed.

Anyway, still plugging away at it. Taking the kids on a camping trip for a long weekend, and will have to continue keeping it cordial but casual. Maybe eventually she will start pursuing me. Wouldn't that be a switch.

Anyway, thanks again. Have a good weekend.